ABOUT US
CONTACT US

  HOME

Bigfoot has been caught on camera just three hours north of Barrie, in Kilarney Provincial Park. The creature is described as being about eight feet tall, with warm brown hair covering it’s entire body, with really big feet. Linda, your publisher, had enough time to start snapping pictures before he disappeared into the deep dark forest. "We have an amazing closeup. You’ll have to check it out!"

---

Issue III Quiz Answers:

I just can't let you brainiacs suffer any longer! Here are the answers to the teasers in Issue III, page three. Let me know if you got them all!

Brain Teaser Answers

1. Answer the sun comes everyday, and on Sunday it comes twice "sun" as in sunshine, and "sun" as in Sunday. Clever variation also accepted "end" a day's end comes every day and on Sunday the week ends also, so you you have an ending everyday, and then Sunday you have Sunday ending, and the week ending also.

2. Answer Nobody was mafia! Answer "shoots" means take a picture; 3rd guy didn't see because he was "temporarily blinded" by the flash bulb!

3. Answer His father was present at the birth (before=in front of). His mother died while giving birth. He became a priest and conducted his sister's wedding ceremony.

4. Answer a nail

5. Answer He is smuggling mules.

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

Live Long & Prosper...

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. She said to him, "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look. What's your secret for a long, happy life?"

He answered, "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, and I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never ever exercise."

"Wow, That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-Six," he said.

Drinking Age

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

BACK TO THE TOP

  TRIVIA

A Lesson in Language

We once drank ale and whiskey from lead mugs. The combination would sometimes knock us out for a couple of days. Drunks were found passed out in ditches, and were often taken for dead. They were prepare for burial and laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days. The family would gather around, eating and drinking and waiting and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small. There weren’t many places to bury people anymore!. People began to dig up coffins, remove their bones, and re-use the grave. In re-opening these coffins, one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside. They realized these people had been buried alive. A string was tied to the wrist of the deceased and lead through the coffin, up through the ground, and then tied to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night to listen for that bell. Hence on the "graveyard shift" the buried could be "saved by the bell" or remain a "dead ringer."

Eating Pork was really a special event! When company came over, they would bring out some bacon and hang it to show it off. It was a sign of wealth and that a man "could really bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust."

BACK TO THE TOP

Going on Vacation?

Be sure to bring a dictionary, or two. Many Canadians and Americans travel to countries where English isn't exactly the mother tongue. Although the tourist industry has tried really hard to communicate in on our terms, their language skills sometimes go amiss!

For example...

In the window of a Swedish furrier Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan Stop Drive Sideways.

In a Swiss mountain inn Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple It is forbidden to enter a woman even foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room If this is your first visit to USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

At a Budapest zoo Please do not feed animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor Specialist in women and other diseases.

Good Kitty. Smart Kitty!

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.

Even the king of the jungle knows readers digest and writers cramp.

BACK TO THE TOP

  NET NOTHINGS

Since wasting your time is becoming top priority, we've got a few new links to try!

Alex Warp
http://www.axlrosen.net/alexwarplarge.html
Mess with Bill Gates head like you’ve never imagined you could! Good for those days when you really dispise MicroSoft products...

Build A Monster
http://www.rahul.net/renoir/monster/monster.html
Cute site, especially for your kids!

Are you MENSA Material?
http://www.canada.mensa.org/
Do their little quiz to find out if you are really as intelligent as you think you are!

Kiss the Frog
http://www.freakyfrogs.com/kiss.htm
Don’t smudge your lipstick ladies!

Hypnosis (an introduction to persuasive yawning)
http://www.usc.edu/student-affairs/dt/V127/N8/divfishin.08d.html
I know this looks like a lot of typing, but it’s truly worth it, especially if you’re a student!

Fun and Games for Playful Brains
http://www.thinks.com/
Tons and tons of trivia fun.

BACK TO THE TOP

HOME | CRACKS | TRIVIA |  STUFF | NET NOTHINGS
ABOUT US | DISTRIBUTION | ARCHIVES | CONTACT US