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What
NOT to give your Valentine!.
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CRACKS |
Mafia
Valentine's Day Limericks!
My
love for you
It came and went.
So now your feet
Are in wet cement!
I picked up this card
From a slim selection.
But that's all they offer,
In witness protection!
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Stringing
Us Along
A
piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You'll
have to leave. We don't serve strings here."
The
string walks into another bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we
don't serve strings here."
The
string is a little miffed now. So he tousles up his hair, ties a
knot in his middle, and goes to a third bar.
The
bartender says, "We don't serve string here. You are a string
aren't you?"
The
string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
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TRIVIA
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Some
Valentine's Day Facts
- It
is loosely based on the Roman lover's festival of Lupercalia.
- There
were actually two Saint Valentines. One was a priest in
Rome, another a Bishop in Interamna. Both of the lucky
fellas were beheaded. In their honor, people everywhere
have since been losing their heads on Valentine's Day.
(Funny, I seem to loose my head on just about any old
day!)
- The
li'l nude cherub is named Cupid (Eros to you Greeks) who
flies about shooting people in
the
heart with arrows.
Cupid
was the Roman God of Love who stayed with his wife, the
Goddess Psyche, only at night.
People
in England celebrated the holiday beginning in 1446.
They wrote their names on slips of paper and drew them
from a vase
for a partner.
In
the 1700's, the custom of pinning these slips of paper
to their sleeve became popular, where it was worn for
several days. That this is where the expression "He
wears his heart on his sleeve" comes from.
During
the 1800's in America, the custom of exchanging cards
adorned with sea shells and seaweed became popular.
Thank God for Hallmark, or all of us would be buying
seaweed at Sobey's!
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STUFF |
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Mike's
10 Cheesiest Pick-up Lines
Mike
Campol says he picked up his fiance using cheesy Pick-up Line # 1!
Maybe one of these lines will work for you, or not...
- I'm
no Fred Flinstone, but I could still make your Bedrock!
- Is
that a mirrow in your pocket, because I can see myself in your
pants!
- Beautiful
night for an evening isn't it?
- So,
do you live around here often?
- Is
your father a thief, because I think he stole a sparkle from the
sky and put it in your eyes!
- Would
you like to have breakfast with me? Should I call you or nudge
you?
- You
must be exhausted, because you've been running through my mind
all day!
- Hey,
were you on the cover of Vogue?
- If I
told you that you had a nice body would you hold it against me?
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Screw
me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gertrude?
Good luck this Valentine's!
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NET NOTHINGS
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Since
wasting your time is becoming top priority, we've got a few
new links to try!
Keep
the Family Busy on Valentine's
http://teelfamily.com/activities/valentine
Some interesting things to do and make on Valentine's Day
Valentine's
Bears Do Make Good Gifts
http://bearisland.com
A great selection of hand-made bears
For
Dull Men Only
http://dullmen.com/valentine
If red is a little too exciting for you, these guys have a nice
dull e-card you can send for Valentine's
Interpaletary
Valentine's Greetings
http://mars.jpl.nasa.gov/mgs/msss/camera/images/2_11_00_valentines/
Images captured by the Mars Global Surveyor (MGS) Mars Orbiter
Camera
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