A few blond jokes for yas!

What was the blonde doing in the desert...
Vacuuming up the dirt.

How can you tell if a blonde has been cutting the grass?
Your green "Welcome" mat is all ripped to shreads.

What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age?
"Today children, we will learn our ABC's..."

What does a blonde say after two more years of college?
Would you like fries with that?

What happened to the Blonde Tap Dancer?
She fell in the sink.

Why did the blonde go in the ditch?
Her turning signal was on.

What do you call a line of blondes standing ear to ear.
A wind tunnel.

Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes?
Because they go answer the door.

That brings us to the Knock-Knock Jokes!

Mark: "Knock knock"
Rita: "Who''s there?"
Mark: "Doris."
Rita: "Doris, who?"
Mark: "Doris locked, that''s why I had to knock!!

Itchy: Knock, knock
Scratchy: Who's there?
Itchy: Adolf
Scratchy: Adolf who?
Itchy: Adolph ball hit me in de mowf. Dat's why i dawk dis way.

Mickey: Knock, knock
Minnie: Who's there?
Mickey: Norma Lee
Minnie: Norma Lee who?
Mickie: Normalee I don't go around knocking on doors, but do you want to buy a set of encyclopedias?

Quote of the week

"[Personhole] is not an acceptable de-sexed word."

- Shirley Dean, councilperson from the Berkeley, California City Council, explaining why the Council changed the wording in a sewer equipment request back to manhole cover

Fact of the Week

One third of all the fresh water on Earth is in Canada. - This could be good for business when we start driving cars that run on hydrogen ? which we will be getting from water

These are Actual Town Names on this planet!

Intercourse (Pennsylvania, USA)

Puseyville (Pennsylvania, USA)

Shafter (California, USA)

Beaver (Oklahoma, USA)

Shitlingthorpe (Yorkshire, UK)

Bastard (Norway)

Wankie (Zimbabwe)

Climax (Colorado, USA)

Lickey End (West Midlands, UK)

Fukum (Yemen)

Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border)

Wankendorf (Schleswig-Holstein, Germany)

Fuku (Shensi, China)

Shag Island (Indian Ocean)

Fukue (Honshu, Japan)

Middle Intercourse Island (Australia)

Wet Beaver Creek (Australia)

Dikshit (India)

Wankener (India)

Sexmoan (Luzon, Philippines)

Bra (Italy)

Assen (Sweden)

Dikanas (Sweden)

Frazier's Bottom (West Virginia, USA)

Knockemstiff (Ohio, USA)

Round Bottom (Ohio, USA)

Kickapoo (Illinois, USA)

Red Dick (Illinois, USA)

Pink Staff (Illinois, USA)

Butts (Georgia, USA)

Tightwad (Missouri, USA)

Condom (France)

Buttsville (New Jersey, USA)

Wankers Corner (Oregon, USA)

Mianus (Connecticut, USA)

Fucu (Mozambique)

Sac City (Iowa, USA)

Slut (Vasterbotten, Sweden)

Crappo (Maryland, USA)

Busti (New York, USA)

Humptulips (Washington, USA)

Wank (Bavaria)

Fertile (Minnesota, USA)

Horneytown (North Carolina, USA)

Boob Creek (Alaska, USA)

Tatitlik (Alaska, USA)

Ireland Scotland & the UK have this covered quite well!

Twatt (Orkney, UK)

Muff (Northern Ireland)

Nobber (Donegal, Ireland)

Lord Berkeley's Knob (Sutherland, Scotland)

Brown Willy (Cornwall,UK)

Dorking (Surrey, Great Britain)

Canada has them licked, or should I say Newfoundland has got everybody beat!

Dildo (Newfoundland, Canada)

Spread Eagle (Newfoundland)

Ass Rock (Newfoundland, Canada)

Ass Hill (Newfoundland, Canada)

Blow Me Down (Newfoundland, Canada)

Old Man's Head (Newfoundland, Canada)

Meat Cove (Nova Scotia, Canada)

Shitagoo Lake (Quebec, Canada)

Smuts (Saskatchewan, Canada)

Big Beaver (Saskatchewan, Canada)

Gone to the Dogs

A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog.

The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, "Hippocrates, come!" Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff. Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones. He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulated human skeleton. The physician patted Hippocrates on the head, and gave him a cookie for his efforts.

The architect was only marginally impressed, and called for his dog, "Sliderule, come!" Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff. The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of the Taj Mahal. The architect patted his dog and gave him a cookie.

The attorney watched the other two dogs, and yelled "Bullshit, come here boy!" Bullshit entered and went right to it. Bullshit immediately humped the other two dogs, stole their cookies, auctioned the Taj Mahal replica to the other club members for his fee, and went outside to play golf.

Work-A-Holic

Lorenzo is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the frog starts to talk. "Kiss me and I will turn into a princess." Lorenzo picks the frog up and puts it in his pocket. The frog starts shouting, "Hey! Didn't you hear me? I'm a Princess. Just kiss me and I will be yours."

Lorenzo takes the frog out of his pocket and smiles at it and puts it back. The frog is really frustrated. "I don't get it. Why won't you kiss me? I will turn into a beautiful princess and do anything you ask." Lorenzo says, "Look, I'm a computer geek. A workaholic. I don't have time for girls. But a talking frog is cool.!"