Getting the Fax

Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly.

"That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows.

"I'm getting a Fax," he explains.

Quote of the Week

Confidence, like art, never comes from having all the answers; it comes from being open to all the questions. - Earl Gray Stevens

Fact of the Week

The scientific name for a fart is flatus or flatulence. Nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen, methane, and hydrogen sulfide, produced from swallowing air or eating food that your digestive system doesn't like, travel from your stomach to your anus resulting in that smelly rustling in your pants. Beans, cabbage, cheese, soda, and eggs are foods which contain the hydrogen sulfide which makes you stink!

On the average, a healthy person farts 16 times a day. Hey guys, don't be fooled by girls who tell you that they never fart. Everyone farts, including girls. In fact, females fart just as much as males. Many animals fart too. Cats, dogs, and cows. Elephants fart the most. People fart the most in their sleep. Farts that contain a large amount of methane & hydrogen can be flammable.

Say Your Prayers

One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea how to do so. The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof!

God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength .. and the tools to cross this river." Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two,

so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools...and the intelligence ... to cross this river." And Poof! God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.