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My Favourite Patient
Three surgeons were discussing which types of patients they
preferred to operate on. Doctor Waters said, "I prefer librarians.
All of their organs are alphabetized."
Doctor Franklin replied, "I prefer mathematicians because all
of their organs are numbered."
Lastly, Doctor Zang responded, "I prefer lawyers. They are
gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear
ends are interchangeable."
Most Powerful Liquid
A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of
turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A
little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy
what he had. The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful
liquid in the world, its called turpentine."
The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is
Holy Water. If you
take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's
belly, she'll pass a healthy baby boy."
The little boy replied, "Shoot, that ain't nothin'. You take
some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's butt, and he'll
pass a motorcycle."
(This isn't something we recommend you try at home with your
own pets!)
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TRIVIA |
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Quote of the Week
Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he
sticks his neck out. - James Bryant Conant
Fact of the Week
Each of your feet has over 250,000 sweat glands in it,
and produces over a pint of sweat a day, making good meals
for bacteria to eat. Bacteria become attracted to the
sweat on your feet and start feeding on it. Bacteria
excretion has a strong odor that causes your feet to smell
bad.
But My Feet Really Stink...
The amount of sweat that collects on your feet must be
decreased and will lessen your bacteria load as well,
making your to-to-tooties smell less. Always wear clean
socks. It is even recommended you change sock throughout
the day. Wash your feet with anti-bacterial soap. This
won't lessen the sweat, but it will kill bacteria. Give a
pair of shoes 24 hours to air out after every wearing. The
sweat will evaporate. Avoid restrictive shoes like, boots.
Well-ventilated shoes whisk away sweat. Wear socks made of
absorbent materials, like cotton. The sock will soak up
the sweat leaving the bacteria nothing to feed on. Apply
antiperspirant to you feet.
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STUFF |
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Once Upon a Time
There once was a happy little fly buzzing around a
barn. One day, she happened upon a large pile of
fresh cow manure. Since it had been hours since her
last meal and she was feeling hunger pains, she flew
down to the irresistible delicacy and began to munch
out.
She ate...
and ate...
and then ..
she ate some more!!!
Finally, she decided she'd had plenty. She washed
her face with front legs, belched a few times, then
attempted to fly away. But had pigged out far too
much and could not get off the ground. She looked
around wondering what to do about this unpleasant
situation when she spotted a pitchfork leaning
upright against the barn wall. She had found a
solution!! She realized if she could just become
airborne that she would be able to fly again.
So, she painstakingly, climbed to the top of the
handle. Once at the top she took a deep breath,
spread her tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently
into the air. She dropped like a rock and splattered
all over the floor....
The moral of this sad story?
"Never fly off the handle when you know you're
full of shit."
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NET NOTHINGS |
Since wasting your time is
becoming top priority, we've got a few new links to try!
Got a Cool, Unique, Odd and Interesting
site? Let's swap links. Email us at
production@crackermania.com.
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/4994/index.html
The Irish Tiger. Some real european humour about
Europen stuff. Very funny!
http://128.241.244.96/portal/uploads/27000/27549_winrg.swf
I know! The link couldn't be any longer! It is
extremely funny though.
http://www.geocities.com/trebor_92627/Bush.htm
Is President George Dubya Bush the Anti-Christ?
Check out this site and find out…
http://bettybowers.com/
God told her she is America's Best Christian. Very
interesting!
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