The Value of Money

A woman was telling her friend "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."

"And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked.

The woman replied, "A multimillionaire."

Urine For a Treat!

A lecturer teaching medicine was giving a class on observation. He took out a jar

of yellow liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant of color,

smell, sight, and taste." After saying so, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His

class watched in amazement, most in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped their finger into the jar and put it into their mouths.

After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth."

Quote of the Week

"Man has his will, but woman has her way." Oliver Wendell Holmes (1808 - 1894) U.S. Writer

Fact of the Week

Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any group of mammals that exist- especially fruit bats.

Medical Sex Facts

1. It takes 116 muscles to climax, but only 17 to smile.

2. Sex makes you alert and ready to face the world ... it's an ideal substitute for a hot breakfast.

3. The greater the orgasm, the deeper the sleep. Multiple orgasms (20 or more per hour) could induce a coma.

4. Eat and drink sensibly. The combination of alcohol and sex, especially after long abstinence, can cause a spontaneous need for Viagra.

5. Improved breath control increases oxygen supply throughout entire body, prevents asphyxiation during mighty kisses, trims and tones pelvis, promotes a stronger upper body enabling you to hold on tight!

6. A single ejaculation, especially from a man, contains enough sperm cells to fertilize every woman in the Marines.

7. After 16 steady hours of sex, it is wise to check your insurance policy.

8. Men who experience difficulty with insertion should see a guidance counselor.

9. Too much arousal can bring on a hard-attack.

10. You know that you've had too much sex when your life begins to flash before your eyes.

11. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and in demand.

12. Good sex can correct poor posture, or at least make it stand up straight.

13. The length of an orgasm is usually anywhere from three to eleven seconds or four to seven feet.

14. 1970 FDA approves spray-on Vaseline.

15. Sexual survival depends on knowing the difference between a birthmark and a rash.

Skin Deep

A woman got on a bus holding her baby. The bus driver couldn't resist commenting on her child! "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.

The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

Time Out

"Dad, I don't want to go to school today." said the boy.

"Why not, son?"

"Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day."

"But why don't you want to go today?"

"Because our English teacher died yesterday!"